Twain Pain interviews themself

    Written By Twain Pain/Vicious

Weird  title.  You might understand it
a little better if you knew that Twain
Pain   is  in  fact  a  group  of  two
persons.   The  first  one is LSI (the
interviewer)  and the other one is The
Visitor  (the  victom).  Together they
wrote  the code for this mag.  In fact
we  might  be the first and only group
with   solely   coders.    (We   don't
consider  groups  with  less  than two
members groups.) Let's blast off.

First  of  all,  tell  something about
yourself  (you  know,  your real name,
hobbies,   how   you  got  your  first
computer, etc.)

Puh,  puh, that is a lot of you to ask
me  as  a first question.  But here it
comes:   My  real  name  is Alexander,
preferrably pronounced as Alex and I'm
18   years  old.   I'm  going  to  the
university  so  I don't have much time
for  other hobbies than spending a lot
of  hours  behind  my  Amiga.  BTW:  I
changed   my   handle  to  ONLY  TWAIN
PAIN!!!!   The  Visitor is dead!  RIP!
DEATH!   GAME  OVER!   Got  the  mess?
Well, that settles that.

Sorry  about  that.   I really thought
you still called yourself the Visitor.
As  you  haven't  told very much about
yourself,  here's another question for
you.    In   which   groups  have  you
previously  been and what do you think
(now)  of  them,  as  you look back on
them???

Urg!   Trying to remember I think I've
been  in  3 groups before.  Those are:
MCC 2000 and TCT on the C64.  MCC 2000
sucked real hard.  TCT was better.  We
even   made  demos  and  had  contacts
(gee!).   Times  became better when me
and  my  brother bought an Amiga.  You
might  think  I'm  LAME to buy a commy
with  my  brother,  but  since  we are
twins we buy most things (which cost a
lot)  together.  (saves a whole lot of
money!)  On the Amiga we founded Size.
I  started  to  learn coding and had a
lot of fun.  Now I'm in Vicious.

I  heard  you  make  music.   Can  you
confirm  this, and if yes, please tell
me something about it.

To  start with the first question, the
answer   is   yes.    I  try  to  make
something  which  sounds  to  me  like
music.  You might think it suxx and is
only  a lot of noise.  (Reader, to get
the impression of what kind of music i
make contact me for some MODs.  But be
warned!   You  must  love HOUSE and be
very  GABBER!)  I  made all musics for
Kill  Da  Base  I and II (by Size) but
part  II  was  never  finished.  Maybe
I'll  release  all  those  mods  on  a
HARDCORE-GABBER-RAVE-or-worse-demo.
(Exterminate da Base by Vicious -:TP)

Okay,  I  get that.  Now for some real
tough  (hard)  questions  about  heavy
stuff.  First I would like you to tell
me what do you think of reincarnation.

Yes.  Sure.  Absolutly sure.

Right,  emm,  hmm,  let me put that in
other words.  Do you believe in God?

I  don't believe in God.  If there was
a  God life would have been heaven for
every  of the five billion inhabitants
of this Earth.

Something  less  heavier.  What do you
think  about  enjoying  life?   (Going
out,  making fun, trashing phoneboots,
etc.)

I  never  trashed  a  phoneboot  in my
life!  I'm innocent!  Don't hurt me!

Could  you  please give me a real LONG
answer  on  my  next  question  (don't
answer with yes or no, that is).  Just
tell  me  something  about  things you
enjoy doing on a free Saturday-night.

I  don't have free Saturday-nights.  I
always  go out dancing.  (Housing that
is  mostly.  Style-dancing is only fun
when  you're  drunk  (you don't notice
you can't dance anymore) .)

Did  you  ever got drunk?  How much do
you  drink?   What do you drink?  When
do you drink?  How do you drink?  Do I
get  drunk?   Do  we get drunk?  Hell,
who's not drunk?  Give me a beer.

No.   Not  much.   Beer.  On Saturday.
Out  of  a  glass.   Dunno.  Yes!  The
pope.    Go  get  it  yourself!   Next
question!

Back  to  the  scene.  Tell me exactly
what you think of the Amiga-scene, the
Dutch-scene and the PC-scene.

To  start with the last, I don't think
you  could really speak of a PC-scene.
You  can't  make  nice  demos  like on
Amiga.   I  think  that  is  the  most
important  feature of what we call the
scene.   Ofcoz  there  are  cracks and
trainers,  but  were  they  not always
there?   The  Dutch scene isn't really
much.   I don't think it really stinks
but   it   just   ain't   much.    The
Amiga-scene worldwide is probably much
and  much bigger than I can imagine or
have  ever  thought  about or whatever
this     answer    means!!!!!!     The
Amiga-scene  is  quite  cool.   Only I
think   there  are  too  many  dentros
borntros trackmos mustros kicktros and
all   those  wordtros  for  they  same
stuffos.   Ok.   I made a borntro also
but  I  think  those names suck.  Hope
that answers your question.  (What WAS
your  question?)  (BTW:   I  love this
outfill from Cygnus!)

What  are  your  future  plans for the
scene?   Are  you going to code games,
draw  graphics,  write  songs  or that
kind  of stuff?  Are you changing your
occupation within the group??  Are you
planning  to  leave  the  group?  That
will do for now.

I  think  I will quit the scene to get
married.   NOT!  No, to be serious I'm
not  going to write games, although it
has  crossed  my mind to write Pinball
Dreams  II but 21th Century was first.
Since  you're my brother you must know
by   now  that  I  can't  draw  decent
graphics.  Making music is pretty neat
but  I  don't know a lot of people who
like  my  pieces  of  art.   I have no
plans to change my occupation as coder
in Vicious.  All questions answered.

I'll  give  you  some  space  to write
something personal.

Anything  personal  would be outplaced
here.

But   that's   the   purpose   of  the
question.   Just  write  anything  you
usually  can't  say  when you're being
interviewed.  Write something radical.
Make  the  world shiver.  Throw it all
out.   Tell  it to the world.  Get the
meaning?  Now try again.

I  don't get the meaning of life.  Why
should  I  write  a  lot  of things no
reader  would understand or be able to
comprehend  the different formulas and
integrals  and  whatever is that which
you  ask me to write down here?  It it
of  no  use  trying to express feelinx
most  readers don't have or will never
feel.  To make a long story short (one
of  my  favourite  ending  phrases)  I
didn't tell you anything here.

Allright  then.   We now do know a lot
more  about  you.   I  want to end the
interview  right  now.  Hope you don't
mind?

No.