Inteview with Dr. Doom

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Gods & Iris
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EVIL INTERVIEW OF DR.DOOOOM!

By Dr. Darkhawk

Ehrr, or.. Today I will be interwieving a person from our own group, that
is Dr. Doom of IRIS, who recently had his handle changed from Cupid to Dr.
Doom. We will be, respectfully and carefully, asking him why he took such a
name, aswell as delve into his past, his present and his future dreams and
ambitious plans for world conquest. 

Dr. Darkhawk: So, first off, introduce yourselves to the readers, who will
likely know you from your work on the EC, and for coding the engine of this
diskmag. What groups have you been in, how much of your life did you spend 
being lame, did you really build your own killer robots, and so on.. Let's
start slow..

Dr. Doom: Hello. My name is Victor von Doom and I'm about 200 years old. I
started my scene carreer in 1811 when I bought my first Amiga. I spent my
first 50 years in the scene coding for the underrated Danish group Unique,
later I joined Darkage and ultimately I left them both to join IRIS. Happy?

Dr. Darkhawk: Not really, since you're not coding.. But ok, how come you
changed your handle from Cupid to Dr. Doom? You know, many people find this
name.. rather.. uhm.. yes..

Dr. Doom: Excellent? Yes, I know. I quite expected that.

Dr. Darkhawk: Uhm yes, that was what I meant.. But ok, how come you changed
yor handle? Answer my questions.. Please!

Dr. Doom: Cause I like this one better. Ok? Argh, alright, if you must, I
am making a statement. Kind of a back-to-the-roots thing. Happy now? I
think that should be obvious.

Dr. Darkhawk: Of course, since I was the one suggesting the name and
forcing you to take it, if truth should be known. But anyway, on to more
scenish things then.. How do you like doing all the slavework for the EC
and DISC? And by the way, shouldn't you be doing DISC right now? Tell us a
bit about those two mags.

Dr. Doom: Thank you SIR, may I have another SIR! Grrr! Anyway, the EC and
DISC.. hehe.. well, actually I hate it. The worst three days of my life
were the ones I spent colourizing the EC43 articles. And layouting and
editing and setting up articles and all that. It's very clear to me now how
Cytron could lose motivation while working on the EC. It's simply boring,
unrewarding work, especially with a primitive engine such as the EC one.
DISC is another matter, of course. A brand new engine semi-completed over
the course of some six months. It features DTP-style layout, advanced
palette management and all that, and even has a nifty horizonal intuition
scroller. Setting up an issue of DISC is like floating on air. Eh... no,
actually it still sucks, although it's a lot easier to work with than the
EC. All in all, I don't like working with diskmags anymore. It's too
repetitive and boring.

Dr. Darkhawk: Of course, the actual editing is simply leveldraining. But
somebody has to do it, and well.. You volunteered, heh. Anyway, maybe
people think that all you do in the scene are diskmags, but they would be
wrong.. Or what? Tell us a bit about other things you have done and are
planning.

Dr. Doom: I am planning to take over the world, but of course you know all
about that. At the moment I'm concentrating on graphics, I think. I did the
panel for DISC 12 in a hurry, and I'm busybusy with a compo picture for
TRSAC which will be held next weekend. I don't want to list the productions
I've contributed to, but worth noting is perhaps the Noise From Heaven chip
pack released every month (or so) by Dascon. I coded that. Uhm.. and well,
I'm always busy with something. What's it to you?

Dr. Darkhawk: A lot, naturally, being your dictator. Well, you've also
garnered some attention to yourself by doing the Coders Corner in the EC,
many coders have expressed that they like your style, but well.. A certain
group, we won't mention any names, dared to misquote you in one of their
demos, from something you had written in one of those corners. What was
your reaction when you saw it? Were you shocked? Sad? Paralyzed? Tell us
your feelings about this, it will be good to get them out into the light.

Dr. Doom: Hehe.. well, yes, the coders corner. Basically I just felt the
EC needed a coders corner, since I, as a coder, felt the rest of the
articles were getting increasingly boring. As for Loonies misquoting me...
Heh. Well, I wasn't shocked, but I guess surprised at least. If they had at
least quoted the entire sentence, the context wouldn't have been entirely
lost. I was in fact saying that you couldn't fill an ENTIRE PAL screen in
1/50 of a second, I wasn't talking about the "widescreen" 320x200 mode
Loonies like to use. Anyway, I was angry for about two seconds, then I
realized it was a wonderfully chaotic and evil thing to do and eventually I
kinda' appreciated it.

Dr. Darkhawk: It seems like you're a multitalent, you code, you draw gfx,
you compose and you write articles.. Do you have any plans of taking over
the whole chart, founding your own one man group, ousting me as organizer,
conquering the world, stuff like that? And isn't it a bit boring being able
to do a production all on your own? Or does your huge ego actually like
doing that?

Dr. Doom: I guess. Well, no. I hate being the only Amiga scener in the
world. It's depressing. As for the chart.. well, I've sort of given up.
When I see people voting for productions they haven't even seen I stop
caring about charts. Of course I believe I DESERVE some place in there,
being considerably more talented than some of the other people I've seen on
Eurochart votesheets, IMHO, but it doesn't really matter one way or the
other.

Dr. Darkhawk: Well, your scenish superiority aside, what about your real
life? What's happening there? Tell the many interested fans you have
something about that. Are you still unmarried? Real life stuff like that.

Dr. Doom: Still unmarried, yes. As if anyone cares. Hmm... and no,
nothing's really happening. Just the way I like it.

Dr. Darkhawk: That wasn't very informative.. So, let's turn this around..
What question would you like me to ask you then?

Dr. Doom: I dunno. I've said most of what I want to say already in my
various articles, and seeing as there is little feedback it appears people
don't care, or else it's just so bloody obvious that everyone agrees (but
lacks the commitment to do anything constructive). Anyway, doesn't change
anything, I'm still the best. I'd like to see someone prove me wrong, of
course, ehee.. uhm, ask me why I bother.
Dr. Darkhawk: Hrmmff, why do you bother then? And you're trying to provoke
people here, but it won't succeed, since sceners are quite apathetic, 
in responding to things these days, hehe.. 

Dr. Doom: Actually I'm just underlining the futility of it all. And I
bother because I don't care if I'm wasting my time, it's still fun. It's a
bit like putting on a blindfold and conjuring up the image of a beautiful
woman while you're fucking a horse. But it still gets you off.

Dr. Darkhawk: A blindfold might not be enough, but I do understand your..
ehrr, point. let's say it in a nicer way, that reality is what you make of
it here. And I think you should really think that editing this issue of
DISC for the releasedate next week, is enjoyable.. Ok, other stuff you want
to say now? We'll wrap this up and call it an interview then.

Dr. Doom: Nope. We will communicate again shortly. You are dismissed.

Dr. Darkhawk: Yes master, thank you master.