This is Tom of Paragon, writing yet
another  article  for  this  fine mag.
This  party- report will be very up to
date,  cause Im writing in, during the
party.   Right now Im sitting with the
rest  of  the  group,  like Slimeball,
Dr.Voodoo,  Cooper and El Loco, trying
to  make  some sensible sentences in a
room  FULL  OF  NOISES.   A mixture of
"Give  it  away" and Bel Canto doesn't
sound   absolutely   perfect   in   my
extremely musical ears.
   Slimeball,  Dr.Voodoo, Cooper and I
were  some  of  the  first arrivals at
Wednesday   morning.    (Around  seven
o'clock  to  be more precise).  In the
beginning,the  amount of attenders,was
low,  but  as  time  went  by (and the
clock  stuck  something  like two),the
indoor  football-hall  was filled with
computer-  freaks.  Everyone competing
in  playing  the  loudest  music, even
though  Crusaders  easily  could blown
our  ears  to  hell.   Everything from
"Overload"  by  Mantronix  and Tip, to
the  beeping  sounds  from millions of
Pinball  Dreams-  fans  is to be heard
inside  this  room.If you can have ONE
second  without  music,  you must have
fallen asleep.
   About  50  banners hang on the four
walls (yes,a room has only FOUR walls,
at  least  this  one  has).The biggest
banners from groups like Static Bytes,
Kefrens,  Exile, TSB, Midway, Backdrop
and  Bacteria  can  be  seen  from the
opposite   side   of   the  room,while
smaller   banners   from  groups  like
Frogs, Creators and Terra Nova demands
very   strong  glasses.   And  in  the
middle  of  all  these  small  and big
groups, completely in the corner, sits
the  proud  gang  of  Paragon.  At the
moment  we  are  12 guys here.  Two of
them  have  just  entered the world of
pleasures  and  joined  Paragon.  They
are    Jester   (musican)   and   Eaze
(graphican).   The  only special thing
that  has  struck us here, is the lack
of  toilet-  paper  (at the toilets,of
course).   And  still  the clock isn't
more than 00:22!!.  The atmosphere and
the  toilets  are  much better than at
the    Porsgrunn   party,   though.(As
promissed in the invitation-intro).
   Even  the sweden (the funny tribe!)
have come to visit this party,so maybe
Phenomena  and  Light didn't manage to
steal  all  the  visitors  they wanted
to??
   I  haven't  seen (or heard) as much
foreigners  that  I'd  hoped to, but I
suppose  it's  too expensive to go ALL
the  way  to  Norway,  just to visit a
party.
   Right  now,  Khorne  and Cooper are
drawing  each their logo at each their
side  of  me.   Cooper  to  the right,
Khorne to the left.  And Slimeball and
Dr.Voodoo  are  having  a  SMALL (!!!)
quarrel.(about what???  (slimeball))
   As  usuall,  Slimeball is lazy, (no
I'm  not)  and he's doing nothing, (Oh
yeah?)  except thinking how to cencore
this  text  after  I've  finished  it!
(Yeahhh)
   Today,  it's  Thursday  the 15th of
April;  the  clock  is  00:31  in  the
morning   (night!!),and  later  today,
Mr.ZigZag  ,  Crocker  and  Echo  will
arrive!!   Crocker has just been to an
Icehockey   tour  in  Finland,  so  he
wanted  to  sleep the first party-day,
and  attend the second.  Well, nothing
big  happened  the first day anyway,so
who cares!
   But now it so late, that I'd better
have a nap....
   Aaahh...   Yawn!  Yes, I managed to
wake up.  (Not weird when you think of
the  NOISE  the  room  is filled with)
Now,  Crocker, Mr.Zigzag and Echo have
attended  the party.  We are then.  15
Paragon  members at this party .We got
this  cool  idea  here,yesterday.   We
wanted  to make a party slideshow with
digitized  pictures from the attending
members  and  maybe  someone  else?  I
can't  say  for  sure  yet.  The slide
itself   is  only  in  the  beginners-
process.
   Black  Panther  is  looking through
our  demo  "Conjuring  Tricks".   He's
trying to syncronize the music and the
code.   The  demo  will be released at
the  demo-compo.   It's  actually  the
first Paragon-demo ever, but certainly
not  the last.  I also heard yesterday
that Lord Helmet will write an article
for  Free  'n' Easy 3.  (Check out for
yourself)...
   If we look at the party- place, the
Skedsmo-  hall, it's not very close to
an  outer snackbar or shop, but inside
we  have a cafeteria which sells pizza
and  coke.  What more can one ask for?
All  groups  have plenty of equipment.
Like    huge    loudspeakers,   video-
machines,  gen-locks and on group even
have brought a microwave and a fridge.
The  difference between this party and
the  one  last summer in Porsgrunn, is
the  amount  of lame-groups attending.
In  Porsgrunn  (not YOUR fault CRB!!),
the  amount  of  lamers  (including my
ex-group   Arctic  Force)  was  a  lot
higher  than here.  Some local lamies,
but   mostly   guys   who   knows  the
difference   between   Protracker  and
AsmOne!
   The  most  irritating  thing  about
this  party,  is  the  amount of "BAD-
MUSIC-  LOVERS!!".   A  group has been
playing  RETURN 90 % of the time!!.  I
hate  "Bye  Bye  Johnny"!!.   One VERY
positive  aspect  was a guy in TRIUMPH
who  put out a note where everyone who
wanted  to  ban  "JAMES BROWN IS DEAD"
could  sign.   And Slimeball, El Loco,
Elwood  and  Khorne also signed.  (But
strangely it didn't help much).
   If  I take a walk round the hall, I
can  see  a  great  deal  of FANTASTIC
pictures,  hear  cool modules and some
nice  demos  in progress.  I think the
quality in the gfx and the music compo
will  be  high.   I've heard some bits
from  Scott/Spaceball's module for the
compo,  and it's great!  If the others
are as good, or even better, this will
be   a   great   experience   for  the
computer-  music  lovers.  Aahh..  The
"Das  Boot"  remix is beeing played by
some  guys  in  Academy.   Nice  guys.
(Too   bad  U96  had  to  include  the
fucking   hip-hop   rhytm!    And  the
blasted tekkno bits).
   Some   commercial:   Look  out  for
Cruizer's music-disk, RAVE DISK.  This
one  is  for  the  house,  hip-hop and
techno freaks.  Nice gfx by Cruizer at
the music-disk menu.  I think this can
be a good one..
   By  the  way.   If you like movies,
then  you  should  have  seen the film
they  sent  here yesterday.  (Or maybe
you did!!?) IT was called "The pit and
the  pendlum`1", or something like that.
Played  from a CD-disc,giving it great
quality,  the film was one of the best
horror/  comedy  I've  seen  the  last
months.   Some grizzly  scenes like a
man,  tighed  up  under a sort-of axe,
swinging  closer down to him, and rats
ate at his fingers and legs.
   Shit!     I   heard   someone   say
"soccer-compo".    I  certainly  don't
hope  PARAGON  will  attend that shit.
(But  I'm  afraid  El Loco has brought
his soccer-shoes!).
   Since  this  mag  will  be released
this  saturday,  we'll  probably don't
know the results from the competitions
before   release  date,  but  I  think
(since  I'm  a bit clairvoyant) that I
can   name  a  winner  in  the  "most-
useless-  utility-  compo":   PARAGON.
We  have  THREE  programms  which  all
three are totally useless!
   Ahh.   Someone  just put on "Klisje
paa klisje" GREAT!
   If  I  should  name  the  MOST-USED
program  at  this  party,  it won't be
X-Copy  or  Protracker.   But  PINBALL
DREAMS.   Everywhere  you  go, you see
the  bats  swing at the ball, you hear
the  swearing  from a failured Pinball
Dreams-player, heard the cracking from
a  broken dis.  Just now, a white disk
flew  through  the  air.   (I  bet  it
contained    Pinball   Dreams!!)   The
Protracker 2.1 has also been released
a  couple  of hours ago.  Nothing much
in difference from 1.1.  Some bugs are
fixed,  the PACK- function works 100 %
and.  Well, you'll probably get it, or
have   it   all   ready,  so  see  for
yourself.
   Only  half  an  hour until the next
film  will  be  shown.   29 minutes.28
minutes..    Shit,  time  goes  slowly
these days..
   Jetzt  habe  ich  der  Film gesehen
hat.   (My  German  is sehr gut!!) The
film  was  boring, cause I had seen it
$fcff  (hex  decimals,  moron!)  times
before.   (The  Empire  Strikes Back).
Well,I've just checked how many freaks
there are here, and about 900 I should
think  is a reasonable answer!  Not as
much  as  I  had expected, but I guess
the  Phenomena  and  Light party stole
some attenders.  (Maybe also some from
Hungary  and  countries  nearby  would
have come, if it weren't for the Majic
12/TRSI   party.   But  anyway.   It's
cool!.  Rumours say that PMC have made
their  version of "Terminator 3" to be
shown later on this party.
   If  someone  wants some "technical"
facts about this party, I can tell you
this:
   In   the  hall,  by  the  entrance,
there's  three  automats where you can
buy  coke,  chocklate  etc.  There's a
cafeteria, right from the entrance and
an  arcade machine with Street Fighter
(I   think)   is   placed  inside  the
party-hall.  The main-hall is about as
big   as  an  indoor  football-  field
(cause  it  is one, stupid!) The floor
is  covered  with paper so that no one
can  spill  anything  directly  on the
floor  (like  puke,  beer or piss).  I
just  heard  that someone has used the
floor  at  the  toilet  to  place  his
SHIT!!   (U  C  ??).  Other facts:  In
the  end  of  the  hall, there's a big
stage  where  probably the CRS and DLN
guys  sit  and watch the show.  Bjoern
A.Lynne  has been trying to sell AM/FM
disks  and Peppe's pizza has delivered
pampflets  on  'how  to order a pizza'
One  can  also  buy "The Gathering'92"
t-shirt  with  Bustman's  drawings on.
Quite nice, actually..
   Eaze  and  Jester (the two guys who
joined Paragon yesterday!!) came about
an  hour  ago  when  this  is written.
now,  they sit and listen to Cruizer's
latest   module   called  "Screamin'".
Khorne  is  drawing  a  "headline clip
art" for this article.
   Until  now,  nothing  serious  have
been   released.    But  just  now,  a
terrible   sound   from  a  FEEDBACKED
MICROPHONE  made  Slimeball's  glasses
break!  (Oh no, they didn't)
   Some guys have brought in a KORG T2
(Korg  T3  rules!)  and  are  probably
going  to  play  some music very soon.
For  the  pervos,  I  can  say that at
least   three  prono-  slides  are  in
development  or  finished..  I've seen
about  60  computer-  pussies the last
three  hours,  and  I can say they are
very MICE..  Eh..  I mean nice!
   Cooper  has  played  Police Quest 3
for a while, and is allready a fan.  I
myself  haven't played ONE single game
down here.  (It's actually true!!) But
soon  I'll  try  to  get  a  grip onto
Elvira 2 and Monkey Island 2!
   Rumours  are saying that Spaceballs
and  Equinox  will  attend  the  demo-
compo  with  some  very nice demos.  I
have  seen  two  of  the part from the
Equinox   demo,  and  they  look  very
impressive..  But if Mental Hangover 2
will  be released here, maybe that's a
winner?.
   Yeah...  It's been some hours since
last  time  I  wrote  on  this  party-
report, so now I'll try to write about
every   thing  that's  happened  'till
now..   The  next  thing  I did, after
saving  this  report, was to enter the
video-  room  for about three hours of
watching.   First  I  saw the mega-RAW
movie RE-ANIMATOR  1..   Then,  right
after,    I    saw    the   follow-up:
Re-Amimator 2 (Bride of Re-Animator)..
Both films were really GORY, but still
mega-cool!.  Then I slept until 10:00,
friday  morning.   Then  I woke up (oh
yeah??   ed.),  had  a pizza and 12:00
(or  a  bit  later),  we played in the
soccer- competition against PMC..  The
results  after  full-  time,  was 2-2.
(In  whose  favour??  ed.) Then, after
the   penalties,  we  won  (!!!)  1-0.
(Final  result, 3-2).  Then, we played
against Offence and won 3-1!  (Offence
are very BAD LOOSERS!!)
   Nothing  has  really happened after
that,  until  now..   Jester/  Paragon
sprayed  on a t-shirt using, grafitti,
for me..  (Really cool!)
   The only "thing" that deserves some
space  in  this  report,  is  a "huge"
mistake that Schleimen (Slimeball) did
some  hours  ago.   We  got some vote-
sheets    for   Nordic   Report,   and
Slimeball  wanted  to  be funny, so he
wrote STATIC BYTES as the third lamest
group!   Then  he thought Static Bytes
were  the  publishers,  and  gave  the
sheet  to them.  They got a bit pissed
off,  but  they understood that it was
just a joke.  (at least I hope so...)
   Right now, Cooper is drawing a cool
picture,  Mr.Zig  Zag  is  fixing  the
"gfx-compo"  picture  and Slimeball is
removing   SADDAM   from  a  disk.   .
(Interesting!) Well, this is a typical
DEAD-  period.   Nothing is happening.
Only guys who play games, produce some
stuff   for   releases,   but  nothing
special  happens..  EXCEPT:  There's a
guy  in  a  green jumper who came here
with  nothing,  but  a  bible..  He is
(THIS  IS  TRUE)  talking  about God's
will   and   how  nice  it  is  to  be
christian (or was it KRISTIAN??)
   Slimeball  also  found  the pack of
orange  juice  he's been looking for..
Under  Dr.Voodoo's bag, and almost ALL
the juice has floated over the floor..
(Nice  !!   ed.)  So now, Slimeball is
licking  the floor.  (No, I'm drinking
the floor)
   It's  also  only  35 minutes untill
the  EATING-  competition  starts.   I
think the point is to eat two packs of
Cheese  Doodles  before  your opponent
does.
   Oh  shit..   Now Khorne, Dr.Voodoo,
El  Loco  and some others came in with
three   pizzas  from  Peppe's  pizza.
Mmmm..   Slafs!  Elwood is sleeping at
the  moment and the situation is under
control.  (why shouldn't it be??  ed.)
   Secret   of  the  monkey  Island  2
should  be  released  yesterday, but I
still  haven't  seen  it..   Guess I'd
manage  with  Elvira  2 and Eye of the
Beholder 2.  (I love sequels.)
   By the way, a BIG thank to SPIKE of
REFLECTORS  for  making  the fantastic
piano  tune  for this issue.  Hope you
like  this mag.  Maybe we'll hear more
tunes from you?
   By  the  (other)  way, the Skedsmo-
hall  has  a  great  calling-  system.
It's sometimes a bit hard to hear what
is  said,  but  it's  a  very  usefull
facility.
   I just heard that someone had blown
an ATARI to hell outside the building.
Cool!   Khorne  got  a blue key..  The
only  surviving  piece  of the Atari..
Kingpin of Offence also came to take a
photograph  of the main-editor of Free
'n' Easy (That's me!!) I guess they'll
write   some  shit  about  us  in  RAW
(because we won the soccer- match).
  But  since  Lord  Helmet/PMC  and El
Loco/Paragon  have  written an article
about  the  soccer-match,  I  guess we
won't be totally slaughtered in RAW.

   Now  I  have  the  results from the
Quick-game  competition.  The rules in
that  compo, is to program a game in a
certain  space  of  time..  Before the
competition,  I  heard that Spaceballs
were  going  to  make  a game with the
plot:   To press the left-mouse button
as  many  times  as  possible,  in  25
seconds..  But they didn't win !!  The
winner  was Condor/ Panoramic Designs.
I  haven't  seen  the  game yet, but I
suppose  we'll soon get a copy of it..
The  winner  of the eating competition
is,  to me, unknown.  But I heard that
he  had an awfully big mouth, and alot
of  Cheese  Doodles in his hair, after
the eating.

   The  release date for Free 'n' Easy
3  (the  mag  you're reading now!!) is
set  to be Saturday, 13:33.  (It's the
third  issue, therefor we release it a
time  of the day, which includes a lot
of 3's.. Very funny??)

   Now   the   clock  is  about  4  at
night,Saturday.  And this article must
be  ready  at 8:30 this morning.  So I
won't  be able to get the results from
any of the other competitions..
  For  the  video-freaks,  I can write
that  I've  just seen Aliens -Extended
Version- and Night Breed.  Cool!!
   At last, some productions have been
released.   Nothing  special,  really.
An intro from PMC, a demo from X-Murf,
intros  from Exile, Supernova, Kefrens
etc..   One  cool release, is a Static
Bytes   intro,  called  "Lamertester".
The  plot  is to answer some questions
(choose  between  three alternatives),
and you'll be rated from 0-30 points..
First  time,  I got 18 points..A cool,
but now new idea.
   I  just  heard  that some guys from
Talent  and  EON  went  around  in the
hall, singing and playing the guitar..

   Damn  I'm afraid that you won't get
to   know   the   results   from   the
semi-finals  (where  we attend) in the
soccer-competition.      Shit,     I'm
hungry..  I have almost NO money left,
and  I  only  have  ONE  pack of juice
left!!  Aarrghh!!
   But  now,  it's  time  to  end this
party-report, cause the Crusaders..eh.
sorry..I  mean the deadline is closing
on..   But  for  all of you who missed
this party;
     - you missed it !!!- (he he)

                       Tom of Paragon.