CRUSADERS PRESENT BASS-O-MATIC
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Hoe Hoe Hoe... what have we got in the bag for YOU?
YES, it's another one of those swinging-and-a-swaying-
and-a-hoppin-and-a-boppin music disks from the ever so
adorable
C R U S A D E R S
This one is curiously enough titled:
=========================
B A S S - O - M A T I C
=========================
\\\
>>---(oo)--->
/C \
/___/\
\ U /
>__<
~~ \/ ~~
And as ever, we follow the tradition and give you some
kickass beats from Dr.Awesome and Fleshbrain, some light
entertainment, this time in the shape of El Cubo's cute
Bass-Invaders game, some strips with our favourite
cartoon character (keypad 4 and 6 to change strip!), and
a text output instead of a scroller, so you can read at
your own speed and so you can actually read for more
than 30 seconds without getting seasick or turning into
a drooling vegetable. Hi to Prologic, who also used
this kind of text output on their music disk #1.
***************************************************
Bass-o-matic contains the following songs:
F1) BOP TILL YOU FLOP - DR.AWESOME - 06:33 - DISK 1
F2) OBSCURE SEASON - FLESHBRAIN - 05:13 - DISK 1
F3) SIDEWALK STRUT - DR.AWESOME - 03:04 - DISK 1
F4) JAMBUG - FLESHBRAIN - 05:27 - DISK 2
F5) BUD PECULIAR - DR.AWESOME - 06:39 - DISK 2
F6) GHAZA - DR.AWESOME - 02:49 - DISK 2
F7) GROUND ZERO - FLESHBRAIN - 05:24 - DISK 1
F8) FIRE ON HIGH - DR.AWESOME - 06:20 - DISK 2
F9) BASS KETBALL - DR.LONESOME- 02:11 - DISK 2
F0) CHROM ATOM - FLUSHDRAIN - 06:26 - DISK 1
1) BINARY NIGHT - FLESHBRAIN - 08:55 - DISK 2
2) GAZER - FLESHBRAIN - 05:22 - DISK 2
***************************************************
Ok, let's hear the credits:
Design/Concept....................Switchblade/Dr.Awesome
Music..............................Fleshbrain/Dr.Awesome
Main Code....................................Switchblade
Bass Invaders and loader code....................El Cubo
Bass-o-graphics (intro)..........................Bustman
Additional main sreen gfx....................Switchblade
Scanned graphics (Calvin)............................Zeb
This text.....................................Dr.Awesome
ASCII drawings - special guest star......Wiseguy/Triumph
Boy were a lot of guys involved this time! Gone are the
good old days when a couple of guys sat right down in
front of the Amiga and didn't get out of the chair until
the product was finished! Nevertheless - the more, the
merrier!! (Which reminds me, that's the same thing a
girl said to me once, but that's a different story, wink
wink ;-) )
__
/__\
|(oo)| Arf... tune me in to that groOOOOve...
/C \
/___/\
\ U /
>__<
\/
After the credits, there's usually some personal
greetings and stuff. I know that you see, because this
isn't my first scrolltext. It's not my second either in
fact. So here's your BIG chance to have your name
mentioned in this text, as we're about to generously
send away personal greetings to every corner of the
world (except maybe Mozambique, known for their
tremendous modem scene (Hi Razor and CRB)). :-)
--------------------------------------------------------
DR.AWESOME WANTS TO SAY HI TO:
--------------------------------------------------------
Martyn "Spadge" Brown
Yes you got to be first, aren't you lucky? :*)
Tobias Richter - you're the best in the biz.
Vad (Vadder Vaddest), Andy & the third guy who's name I
can't remember, but he's the one with the pen up his
nose.
Steve "Havok the Hammock"
The Motion mob (Bud, Outrage, Devil, Basse, Mastermind,
Lace and the rest of those dooz)
Next, to my following good friends:
Andre Schelker Tony Fonanger Grant Ovenden
Big Al / Ecstacy Sakari Hannula Ezy / Ecstacy
Allister Brimble Andrew Barnabas Ann & Stefan
Andreas Korzinsky Kim Pedersen Ron Fonteine
TSR/Powers of Pain
All members of Crusaders, especially our new freaky
deaks, Scumbag and Silencer.
Amiga Freelancers (Anders, Lars, Rune, and "I-cant-
remember-his-name" The Moose) with great big thanks for
ProTracker, and good luck with your first commercial
project.
The SysOps of these BBS's:
Zirkonium - Mediafoto - Golden Power - Styx
Some greets to my favourite musicians:
Maestro/Flash Prod - Tip/Phenomena
Jesper Kyd/Silents - Uncle Tom - Firefox/Phenomena
and of course -- > Sir Fleshbrain
And finally, a very big, \\\
long, and suspiciously cosy (oO)
hug to Patsy/Brainstorm. /C \
(What are you doing this /__/\\
weekend, sugarlump?) \\__//
>_U<
(By the way, I heard you had been ~~ \/ ~~
Alex an eye.. way to go Alex!) :-)
-------------------------------------------------------
BUSTMAN WANTS TO SAY HI TO:
-------------------------------------------------------
...his good friends:
Flemming Vestergaard Robert Ling Per Carlsson
Alan Rogers Frode Fredriksen
-------------------------------------------------------
SILENCER WANTS TO SAY HI TO:
-------------------------------------------------------
Everyone who calls my board! Thanks for making it such
a cool place to hang out!
All members of the ASC!
All Crusaders, especially the ones who own modems!
Hi guys!
Storm/Divina - Nice chats dude! .
SCSI/Betrayal - Told ya! .: .
Hermann Rorschach - Cool Tunes! (\/\/)
Necromancer/KrionyX - VMB dude?! >>---(oO)--->
Presto - What a bunch of uploads! /C \
Juxta - Hi there, get a car! :-) /___/\
Lord Jagged - Got some codes man?! Hickup\ U /
Venom - Good luck with yer board! >__< C|~|
/ \/ \//| |
All the cool 415 SysOps... // T|\/ ===
Andeveron, Prokem, Warehouser //____|
and Master Blaster... >---(oo)--->
half of the effect-commands, and | /C \
it falls behind on speed and | / \
comfort, something which is very | \ - /
important to a musician - you're | >__<
supposed to spend your time and | \/
concentration on the music, not |
on looking through a hundred ----------------------
menus. For MIDI and/or synthesized sounds I will
recommend MED 3.00, but for samples only, Protracker
offers the most powerful effect commands and fast and
easy editing.
Most the sound digitizing is also done in ProTracker's
own sampler-screen. It offers basically the same
functions and sample-handling options as Audiomaster 2,
but where Audiomaster uses 2-10 seconds on an operation,
ProTracker does it instantly. In addition, ProTracker
has the "Boost" and "Filter" functions, and now that I
have them, I can't see how I could ever live without
them. A couple of "boosts" can do wonders with a dull
snare or hihat.
The hardware I use is an Alcotini | \\\
stereo sound sampler. I chose this | [GURU]
sampler because it has a different | /C \
and better kind of A/D (analogue to | /___ \
digital) converter than most other | ??? \ U \/
digitizers. One drawback is that | >__<
it needs to be plugged into both | ~~ \/ ~~
the parallel and the serial ports,
but this is because the mentioned A/D converter needs 12
volts instead of just 5 volts like most other
digitizers. And the 12 volts can be found on the serial
port only. As mentioned, it is a stereo digitizer, but
I always use it in mono mode. When making music, you
have no need for stereo samples - if there had been a
mono model of the Alcotini, it would probably have been
cheaper, and I would have bought that.
The samples (sounds) come from here and there - most of
them have been digitized from different synthesizers, a
few from various CD's, and a few are sampled by other
musicians, and I have ruthlessly ripped them.. Just
like a lot of you are going to do with the ones I have
sampled.
Which brings me to think - what on earth makes musicians
do such a thing as to rip off ALL the samples from ONE
song, and just rearranging the song with exactly the
same samples?? It sort of pizzes me off when people do
this to my songs - sure, ripping an instrument here and
an instrument there is perfectly ok, I don't mind that,
but when you take ALL the samples from one of my songs
and just write some new patters, that makes me sort of..
pizzed. The latest couple of examples on this are my
songs "Space Deliria" and "Tranze Seven", so many times
ripped to pieces, that the samples from these songs have
now been used more than the original ST-01 samples! I
think I know the procedure.. load my module into
ProTracker, select "Clear Patterns", and start writing
some new patters without so much as touching the
instrument setup.. Oh and maybe the drums-track, which
some people don't even bother changing at all! I think
the first one to do this with "Space Deliria" was
Dr.Feelgood of Cave, and after that it's been done by
many many others. As for "Tranze Seven" it's been even
worse, I think only here in Norway, there's been made at
least 10 songs using the exact same instrument setup and
rhythm pattern. Ok, a couple of the samples in "Tranze
Seven" were ripped by me in the first place, but most
of them weren't, and none of them from the same song.
Hmm I hope the next version of ProTracker comes without
the "Clear Patterns" option. At
\\\ | least it would mean that these
(oo) | leeches would have to do a bit more
/C \ | work... Don't misunderstand me - I
/ \ | don't mean to slag off everyone who
\ - / | rips some instruments, but I don't
>__< | want any more of this "Let's rip ALL
~~ \/ ~~ | the instruments from that song and
| rearrange the patterns" business.
Ok, after that little moaning and groaning, we go on
with a bit more about each of the songs.. I can really
only tell you about my own songs, because I don't watch
over Fleshbrain's shoulder when he's at it.
The tune "BOP TILL YOU FLOP" was made in a hurry... It's
been a long time since I last completed a song in less
than 24 hours, but this was the case with this one. I
guess it was because when I started on it, I hadn't made
anything at all in about 2-3 weeks, so it just poured
out. Bop Till You Flop is the one and only song on this
disk where ALL the samples were custom made for this
song only. All instruments were digitized while I made
the song. The drums were sampled from the CD "Big
Generator" by Yes. The speech samples are of course Dan
Aykroyd in his "Super Bass-o-matic '76" sketch. The
bass was sampled from my newest PCM sound card on the
Roland U110, and all the rest of the sounds were created
on a Korg DW8000 synthesizer and then sampled from
there.
"SIDEWALK STRUT" is a strange piece - I _ _
have to admit that this song is not }\/{
completely my own composition, some parts >>---(oo)--->
of it are very much like a song done by /C \
Chick Corea and his "Electric Band". The /___/\
weird synth samples in the start of the \V V /
song are also from this song. All this >__<
is mixed with about 50% of my own ~~ \/ ~~
material.
"BASS KETBALL".. well what is there to say about this
one..? Hmmm it's really just a joke - somehow we had to
fill up the two disks, right? I did this one in a
couple of hours.
"GHAZA" - getting moody here... This was thought of as
some sort of movie-like atmostpheric and romantic piece.
The samples are from a Kawai K4 and (as ever) the Roland
U110.
\\\ "BUD PECULIAR" is on that more or less
\\\ follows the style of "Bop Till You
\\\, Flop", although Bud Peculiar was made
##- first (so I guess it's the other way
Dig! /C \ around, really...). What kind of music
/___/\ is this anyway? Hmm to be honest, I
\ U / don't know.. you tell me! If anyone
>__< finds out what kind of music this is,
\/ please do contact me and let me know! I
used quite a lot of time on this one,
polishing the details for a couple of weeks. Most of
the samples are from the Roland D-50. The flickbass is
from the Roland U-110, and the filtered bass is from the
Korg DW8000. I got the snare from Kim Pedersen, thanks
dude, what a powerful snare it is too!
"FIRE ON HIGH" - Not much to say about this one really.
There's an acoustic 12-string guitar in there which is
quite new in ProTracker music, at least I haven't heard
it before. My favourite part is the "bridge" about 4
minutes into the song. Most of the samples are from the
Roland U110.
- - -
Guess what - it's time again for some general smalltalk!
The thing is, I've got all the time in the world to sit
here and write, but I haven't got the slightest thing to
write about. Guess I'll just pladder on for a while.
I overslept pretty badly this morning, you see, so I
have to be at work till late, and what better way to
spend a working day than writing silly and meaningless
scrolltexts? All due credit must go to Share and Enjoy
here, the fella(s) who wrote the scrolltext for "Amazing
Tunes 2" Or was it 3?... Anyway, superb scrolltext
guys. I'm looking forward to some more of them. Good
job also from the musician who made the very first tune
on this 3-disk music disk, I think the tune was called
"Swift" or something like that...
Anyways, this song was no less than ///
bloody brilliant - when will there >>---(oo)--->
be some more??? I also liked the /C'\
Spectrum font - it brought back a / ' \
lot of good memories, shit it almost \ o / Sniff
had me weeping all over my keyboard >__<
and getting myself electricuted! ~~ \/ ~~
So what do y'all think of our cute little Bass Invaders
game, eh? Not to brag of course, but I think it's
utterly fab myself. :-) Naturally, we had to call it
"Bass Invaders" in order to avoid lawsuit by the guys
behind Space Invaders (TM) - although they're probably
all dead and forgotten by now - that game is ancient!
Who remembers that really old version, where the colours
were just strips of tape placed on the glass over the
monitor? Hehe, those were the days! Of course, if you
want to, you can make your own colour-version of Bass
Invaders too - just go and ask mom for some coloured
tape or even cellofan paper. Or use the red/green
glasses you bought at the Lillestrom-party to watch CRB
and Exit's 3D demos, cut them up (the glasses, not CRB
and Exit) and get a friend to hold the red and green
pieces in front of the monitor while you play.
For those of you who are wondering what the hell :-) and
:-( and stuff like that are suddenly doing in the middle
of a sentence, well I'm not going to tell you. Try
buying a hint-book from Whats-their-name-Larry-Company
and look for it there, or call up any good BBS and get
the answer there.
I hate to say this but I am in fact typing this on a PC
:-( because that's all I have access to here. To be
more precise, it's an AST Premium 386SX/16. If that
doesn't tell you all that much, then you're one of the
lucky guys, because it means that you never had to deal
with it. Of course, I could borrow an Intergraph 3D CAD
workstation, but being developed for designing oil rigs,
I don't think it's very suitable for scrolltext-
writing.. Strange... this company has all these
superfancy computers, but I've yet to see a single demo
or music disk released. I'm sure they could sell some
copies and make a nice little income, like all the PD
distributors do. I think I'll go to my boss tomorrow
and suggest that we start a demo-writing department
here. I wonder what he'll have to say about it...
probably "uhum.." or "You're fired for smoking weed at
work". Well it's worth a try, innit?
I'd like to remind all Norwegian |
freaks (and the others too, for | \\\
that matter) that this summer you | >>---(oo)--->
will have the chance to see the | /C \
Crusaders live in concert, | / \
playing some kick-ass rock'n'roll | \ . /
at our annual out-door gig | >__<
somewhere near Oslo, Norway. The | ~~ \/ ~~
band is called "Random" and |
consists mostly of Crusaders, or |
to be more exact: ---------------------
Dr.Outtasight - Lead vocals
El Cubo - Guitar & additional vox.
Dr.Awesome - Drums / Percussion
Dr.Shitface - Keyboards
Sten Beck - Bass Guitar
As you can see, a hilarious band setup, this is an
obvious disaster (Hi Phenomena), but nevertheless it
will be great fun as usual. Everyone is welcome of
course, and what's so great about it is that it doesn't
cost anything - all you have to do is bring yer own
beer. So don't miss this event folks, it will take
place sometime in June or July. For more information,
read our future scrollers, or follow the development in
the EuroNews!
Gee, I wonder if there are more Simpsons fans out there,
or am I the only one?!? The Simpsons are just so
adorable, I think I'll vote Homer Simpson for President!
And Marge for Secretary of State or something.. Another
favourite show of mine is Saturday Night Live, but these
days we can't get it anywhere.. :-( All the stations we
take down are European, I'm afraid - I don't think
Saturday Night Live is on the European MTV anymore
either! Baah.. Don't you all just love those old-time
classics with Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and
John Belushi? Well I certainly do - not to mention the
Church Lady of course. Who saw the one where the Church
Lady played drums and Danny DeVito sang "Santa's coming
tonight" ?!? Was that fucking great or what???? Not to
mention "The Bastard Batallion"... or Dan Aykroyd in
the "Dragnet" parody when he goes "The story you are
about to witness, is true - only the facts have been
changed.."
And now for something completely different...
Somebody told me I should include "The History of The
Crusaders" in this scroller.. ok here goes:
We formed Crusaders in 1988.
Then different stuff happened.
And now we're here, with Bass-o-matic.
Right, that's as far as I will go with the history of
Crusaders, as I find it utterly boring, and I'm sure you
all would too.. Tell me honestly, when you're looking
through a diskmag, how many of you read articles that
start with "This is the history of our cool group!". I
should think somewhere between 0.02 and 0.05 percent of
you... That's why you should read the EuroNews, cos
that's the mag where you will find only the interesting
parts, and without all the boring stuff in between!
Does anybody know when the E.C.E.S. show is this year?
We gotta go this year too, the show itself was shitty
last year but we had a great time nevertheless, thanks
to some friendly fellas from Ecstacy, Pizza Hut, the
sandwich cafe down the road and of course the 32 oz
steaks we had up in Yorkshire.
Somebody told me there will be a | \||/
conference held in London at the | >>---(oo)--->
same time the ECES (by the way | /C \
is it ECES or CES ???) is going | / __/\
on. If whoever's arranging that | He he \ U /
conference is reading this (of | ___>__<____
course, I know who that is but | | \/ |
I'm not allowed to tell you, | | /\ . |
see?), make sure you set it up | | /\ \ | |
for the public days - that way | | /\ \ \|/
we can have the trade days at | | \ \ \/
the show and then "retire" to | | _\ \/
your guys' conference on the | |/ \/
public days, when the show will | |
be nothing but a pit full of |
10-year-olds screaming for the | .: the szoot suit :.
latest games anyway. |----------------------
We were there for about 15 minutes on the first of the
public days last year and it was absolutely *terrible*!
Well, now I think it's time for a commercial break!
========================================================
A D V E R T I S E
I N T H E E U R O N E W S
========================================================
From now on, it costs hard cold hard cash to advertise
in the EuroChart/EuroNews - but don't despair, because
it's really cheap! An ad can be 38 characters wide, 22
lines tall, and here's what it costs:
========================================================
1 ad 3 ads
---- -----
Norwegian Kroner...........20........50
Swedish Kroner.............20........50
Danish Kroner..............20........50
Finnish Marks..............15........40
German Marks................5........12
UK Pounds...................2.........5
US Dollars..................4........10
========================================================
See? That's not all that bad, is it?
========================================================
Send the ad(s) and the cash to:
EuroChart
P.O.Box 45
1474 Nordbyhagen
NORWAY
========================================================
For those of you who are waiting for the results from
the Crusaders EuroChart Hot Sister Competition, the
reaction to our competition has been very good indeed,
so we will release a separate special issue of The
Gallery - a special Hot Sister issue. Boy have we
got some great pictures to print - wait for it guys! I
never knew so many freaks out there had so gorgeous
sisters, I myself have fallen in love at least 5 times
since we launched the competition, and now I want to
know if it is possible for any of you guys with those
wonderful sisters to set up a couple of dates for me..
hehe. Ah there was one from France who was absolutely
irresistable - I'm coming
over!! Anyway, we are still | ///
collecting new pictures every | (oo)\
day, so maybe we will wait | /c \\\
for a while and then release | /___/\\\
the Hot Sister Special on 1 or | \ U /
2 disks. I don't know exactly | >__<
when it will be released, but | \/
it will probably be some time | HotSister-91
in May or June. It's not too |
late to send pictures, guys!
So here I am, still at work.. shit, I wish I could get
my act together and learn to get my sleepy ass out of
bed in the morning! If I had got up early today, I
could have been at home by now. Oh well, I guess it's
not really that bad. Some music helps on the mood -
right now I'm listening to "Losing it" by Rush, and it's
bloody good! It goes: "Some are born to rule the
world, to live their fantasies.." Well I don't know who
that might be, but it sure as hell isn't me - with me
ruling the world, it would be a fine mess.. First of
all I would have free synths for everyone - then I would
have 80% girls in the world, so every guy could have a
few of them :-) Naah stop it Doc, before the local
sexism fighting red-sock meeting-women come and get
you.. Hmm isn't it strange that the girls are always
complaining that they're so discriminated etc. and they
want to be treated like guys in every possible way - but
when it comes to things that guys have to do, and they
don't, that's where their quest for equality stops!
Like military service for instance. Also, isn't it
strange that if somebody should make a magazine or
something especially for men, then it's sexism and
discrimination and oppression of
\\\ | women and all that - but if someone
(oO) | makes a magazine for women, nobody
/C \ | ever complains. Here in Norway a
/~~\ \ | few months ago, there was a big
\ / | company holding what was known as a
>__< | "Gentlemen's dinner", a traditional
\/ | party they have been holding since
a hundred years ago -well this year
of course the women had to start screaming. "IIIK!
They're holding a dinner and we can't come! Sexist
pigs!!!". That's just the sort of thing that makes me
wonder, you know.. I'm convinced that if it was a
"Ladies' dinner" nobody would have said a word, because
they would only say that "Oh us women are so undermined
today that we have to get together and talk about it.
And don't try to stop us, sexist pigs!". I guess no
matter what we do we'll always be sexist pigs, guys..
So when it all adds up, when you think about it, it is
really the men who are oppressed and discriminated
today! By the way, what an utterly stupid thing to
talk about in a scrolltext! Let's talk about something
nice instead.
Like for instance the latest \\\
Phenomena demo "Enigma". When it OO ( )
comes to demo-creating, you just /C \ WOW!
gotta hand it to those guys.. That /___/\
rotating cube with the filled \ U /
vectors, the hidden line vectors >__<
and the starfield almost had my \/
eyes popping out of my skull.. ----->
What's happening to the demo scene today I think is very
positive - demos have got to have a certain amount of
design and style these days, which makes demos so much
more enjoyable. Remember the good (?) old days when you
ran a demo and everything just popped up on the screen
at once.. you had 10 scrollers, 80 bobs, rasterbars in
all directions, colourcycling, vectors, all of it in one
big ugly looking chaos. Luckily, the term "design" has
entered the demo scene and now a demo is often great to
watch for 15-20 minutes, while say a couple of years
ago, you would watch a demo for no more than 10 seconds.
Mind you, it's not so strange that people did it that
way back then, because whenever there was a
democompetition going on, the arrangers would only show
each demo for about 15 seconds (!), so if you didn't get
it all up on the screen right away, your demo would
never be seen! Luckily, that has been changed now. I
think the first ever demo to really introduce real
"design" to the demos was the legendary RSI Cebit '90
demo. This demo set the trend for the "new look" on
demos, which has been followed and further developed by
many many groups. Wonder what the demos will be like in
another 2 years..? Probably a lot better than they are
today, so I think what would be very very smart indeed
was to take that megademo you are planning to release in
1993 and release it next week instead! :-) I can't see
why nobody has thought of this before..?!
Sitting here looking through an | \\\
old issue of Amiga Format, I | [68040]
could not help but noticing 3 | /C \
outstandingly smart tips to help | /___/\
the everyday life a bit easier | \ U /
for us Amiga owners. Here's | >__<
what it says: ~~ \/ ~~
Crap tip 1: Replace the ball of your mouse with a
large, well-sucked gobstopper. This not only provides
superior traction, but also picks up any stray hairs
which may be on your mouse pad.
Crap tip 2: Be sure to wear your mother's washing-up
gloves when sitting down to a long keyboard session.
This will help to prevent your fingers slipping off the
keys, thus reducing typnig errord. (I sometimes wear
her underwear also, but this is just a personal
preference of mine.)
Crap tip 3: Stick a two-inch wide piece of masking tape
across the top of the screen of your monitor or TV.
Then, when that old spoil-sport Mr. Guru Mediation pops
up, you are able to carry on undisturbed.
Hehe. I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna try
them all when I get home (IF I get home today - phew, it
sure is getting late! And not only am I still up - I'm
still at work..)
Well at least today is Friday, for the next 48 hours I
will not give a shit about what time it is. It's
always a bit of a problem when Monday morning comes
though, because during the weekend, I have turned night
and day completely upside down, so going to bed Sunday
night is no use, as my poor disoriented body will think
it's the middle of the day. Well somehow I always
manage to get through the mondays anyway - it's really
just a matter of getting enough coffee.
Yyyyaaaaawwn... I think I'll just go home \\\
now, and continue this scroller there. I've (--)
got some Baccardi somewhere - think I'll /C_\
have myself a tiny little one of those.. // \\
On the way home, I'll stop and buy the latest \\__//
Amiga Format... See you all back there... >__<
~~ \/ ~~
(Pause here while Dr.Awesome gets home, eats a couple of
sandwiches and poures himself a Coke and Baccardi
(hereafter referred to as C/B..))
.
Wheee! And here I am! Did you miss | : .
me? I sure missed you lot.. wait a | \\\.
second while I go get another C/B, | >>---(Oo)--->
will you? (... ... ... ... ...) | /C \
Well, it's now 01:35, I'm just | /___/\
getting in the mood for some serious | hihi \ U /
scrolltext-writing. My hands are | >__< c\~/
hurting a little though, so far today | / \/ \// |
I've written about 35 kb (hey that ~~~
must mean that YOU have READ 35 kb!) of scrolltext,
that's not something you would do everyday, is it?
Hihihi you know, I just got this gryyyeat idea...! Why
not include a little bit of the scroller from our REALLY
old music disk "Audio X"? hmmm, but then again, why do?
I don't even know whether I have it anymore... Naaah!
Getouttahere... there must be SOMETHING I can write
about? What's the world record in scrolltexts anyway?
I have now written (checking checking) just a little
over 36kb.. (Hold on... another C/B...) Ah now I
know... hmm, no, on second thought, forget it.. It's
this jazz that does it you know - right now I'm
listening to John Scofield's "Blue Matter", and it's..
it's.... freakydeaky..! The record belongs to one
Mr.Techno/Abusive who's sitting beside me here, more or
less telling me what to write.. I'm just taping it...
Oh my God, I'm illegally taping music here - I sure hope
BJ won't come and pull my private parts... Am I getting
paranoid or what? Well anyway,
where was I? Ah, the jazz.. | \\\
yes, it's SO nice - tell you | >>---(oo)---> |~
what, if you need to calm down, | /C \ o| |~
if you need some serious massage | /___/\ o|
(know what I mean?), all you | O| \ U /
have to do is go to your | | >__<
favourite record store | ~ \/
(reckastow) and buy John |
Scofield's "Blue Matter". ----------------------
Ok, enough of this kind of crap.. now over to some
other kind of crap! You know, I heard this great joke
the other day.. but I don't know if it's suitable for
this music disk - Ron F. told me, no rude language..
well hmmm should I tell you the joke or not..? Naah I
think I'll pass - there must be some other good jokes
around.. Like "why did the chicken cross the road?" -
because 4 hungry Ethiopians came running after it..
Hihi, we just made that one up. One more? Ok, ok, one
more.. this time: Why did the man cross the road? -
Because he was glued to the back of the chicken.
And now, methinks it's time for some LIGHT BULB JOKES!
Don't you all just love them??!??!
Ok, here we go:
- How many programmers does it take | \\\
to screw in a light bulb? | >>---(oO)--->
- None. It's a hardware problem. | /C \
| /___/\\
- How many MacIntosh owners does | Ack \\ //
it take to screw in a light bulb? | Ack \\_//
- One. He holds the bulb, and the | >U<
world revolves around him. | /\ \
| |\ \/ |
- How many light bulbs does it | |_\ \_|
take to screw in a potato? | |__\__|
- A month. |
-------------------
- Erh, how many C/B have I had now..?
- A month.
Ok ok, I agree, I should cut this crap now, but the
thing is you see, that I have nothing else to do -
Mr.Techno is using my Amiga, ripping off my instruments
collection, El Cubo and Switchblade are coding some kind
of shit (I hope they won't read this until after the
disk has been released, and then it's too late, hihi),
and I'm stuck here with Dr.Outtasight's Amiga, which has
no cover, and the insides of it looks like one great big
ashtray. And here I am with nothing to do but bore you
poor readers with this poor excuse of a scrolltext. Uh,
here comes Switchblade to write a few words...
A'WRITE!! This is | \\\
Switchblade writing just to | Super (oo)
make this scroller a little | Bass-o /C \
bit longer. Dr. Awesome is | Matic! /___/\
terribly bored by writing | __ \ U / ___
over 36000 bytes of text. | / \__> <_/ \
The funny thing is that | \ / BAS \_ /\
those thirty-four-thousand | ( \ O /( ) \
bytes of text doesn't say | ( )\MATIC/ ( ) \
anything at all. Well I | | ) \=o=/ ( | \
guess you readers out there ---------------------------
are pretty bored of this text too, since the doc's been
telling some of his jokes. On behalf of the Crusaders I
must apologise for those jokes.
Ya ya, be an asshole.
(Who's an asshole?? NOT me!)
Right. I think that pretty much wraps it up for now.
You lot go ahead and play Bass Invaders for a while, and
I'll look through the rest of Mr.Techno's jazz
collection here. So I guess I'll see you all in our
next music disk, which will of course be titled
something just as silly as Bass-o-matic. Right then.
Bye!
1 EL CUBO 07500
2 SWITCHBLADE 07499
3 DR.AWESOME 05000
4 FLESHBRAIN 04000
5 BUSTMAN 03000
6 SCUMBAG 02500
7 LAZERBRAIN 02000
8 SILENCER 01500
9 DR.CLAW 01000
10 INTEC 00500
11 DR.OUTTASIGHT 1
50
000250
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